How to be happy

Years of sitting in front of computers and being generally anti-sportive have finally paid off, and I’m now partially crippled with a left arm that’s pulsating in pain. Ok, it’s not that bad, but let’s just say that I’m suffering from some weird symptoms, and in order to clear up the confusion whether I’m drawing close to the last days of my life or if I’m simply a hypochondriac, I went to see a doctor. Sure enough I was referred to a radiologist, and that’s actually where this post was supposed to go. Here goes:

If you ever wondered who’s got the best job in the whole wide world, wonder no more, because today I was once again confirmed in my belief that there’s but one candidate who fulfills all the prerequisites for having the best job in the world. It is The Radiologist!

In order for you to understand how I came to this baffling conclusion, I’ll do a quick comparison with a job some of you probably regard as the best job in the world: movie star.

  • Most importantly, the money. A radiologist, once he’s paid off his debt for the extremely expensive equipment he’ll need, will earn a shitload of money. The movie star too.Thus, **radiologist **1, movie star 1.
  • The radiologist will have to go to university and spend quite some time studying. The movie star most probably not. But they have to work out at least twice a day, eat healthy and undergo major cosmetic surgery once they’ve passed the magic age of 23. Thus, radiologist 1, movie star 0.
  • The radiologist will never have to see any patients. No, I kid you not. The radiologist has about fifteen assistants who handle the patients. The radiologist’s job is simply to look at the photos of people’s spines, heads, arms and a few other body parts and decide on a verdict. Uh, I mean diagnosis. The movie star on the other hand is subjected to publicity all the fucking time. They are haunted by paparazzi and maybe even stalkers. Thus, radiologist 1, movie star 0. Or have you ever heard of a radiologist who’s been stalked? Actually, that’s sort of impossible, because you never ever get to see a radiologist. For all I know the guy who just signed my diagnosis looks like Darth Vader.

Right, so here we are, with a score of 3:1, The Radiologist by a landslide defeats movie star in my fool-proof job-comparison. Please feel free to contradict my findings, but be aware that I’m almost always right.