Beatify me

Finally, our dear Emperor Charles will be beatified. Now, you can say a lot about the catholic church, but you can’t say they don’t have a sense of humour. Twisted it might be, but it’s definitely there. According to the official beatification site of Charles, the miracle, necessary to justify a beatification, consisted of healing a nun from her varicose veins. How did he do that? Did he do it Jesus-style, by spitting in her face or throwing away her support tights? Well, no. He couldn’t, because he was already dead. The nun simply prayed for his beatification, and after doing that, her varicose veins and any pain she felt inside her right leg simply vanished. Mission accomplished!

Now, the official website also doesn’t fail to mention the following:

Charles sought peace, helped the poor, and with determination cultivated a spiritual life. Faith guided his life since youth, above all during the World War and during his exile on the island of Madeira, where he met a holy death. The Emperor Charles considered the title conferred upon him a task entrusted to him by God.This in no way signified a legitimization of an arbitrary exercise of authority, but rather the unconditional obligation to follow Christ, the only true King, and to imitate His example even in his high position. For that reason Charles never made any important decisions without praying.

So, waging war but doing it faithfully will actually get me beatified? That’s an unbelivable deal. Well done, Charles. Happy beatification to you.