In the course of my research for a paper I am writing, I stumbled upon this great definition of a kind of poetry dating back to the medieval and early modern period of English:
This poetic art is called “macaronic” from macarones, which are certain dough made up of flour, cheese, and butter, thick, coarse, and rustic. Thus, macaronic poems must have nothing but fat, coarseness, and gross words in them.
Now, I have been wondering if there are other kinds of poetry or literature which have names associated with some kind of food. And after about ten seconds of pondering, I came to the conclusion that indeed, there are none I can think of. So, I decided to invent some. Here are my inventions, complete with definitions:
This poetic art is called “hamburgian” from hamburger, which is a certain sandwich, made up of a bun, a paddy, some genetically enhanced salad, and mayonnaise. Thus, hamburgian poetry must have nothing but fluffy sentences, artificial wording and slimy reasoning.
This poetic art is called “ice-creamian” from ice-cream, which is a certain sweet stuff, made up of colourful ingredients, water and loads of sugar. Thus, ice-creamian poetry must have nothing but the fanciest contrivances, no content whatsoever and empty but sweet wording.
This poetic art is called “schnitzelean” from schnitzel, which is a certain kind of meat, made up of a piece of pork, breadcrumbs, flour and egg, baked in a pool of rancid oil. Thus, schnitzelean poetry must be constructed from a perfect thought, but dressed in the most obscure of reasoning, and finally polished off with specks of insulting perversity.
Alright, that’s it. If you’ve got any more ideas (and I’m sure you do), drop them in my comments.
Hell, I’ll never get that paper done.
