Beauty Crap reviewed

An affront to the intellectual capacities of any viewer, the TV-show in four installments, ‘Beauty Queen’, a joint production between ORF and RTL, is finally over. Polluting the air-waves for four weeks, it really was a scourge upon the living ( viewers). Here are a few points that made this mini-series a total and utter failure:

  • stupid storyline (come on, who the hell wants to watch cosmetic-surgeons doing their job? I mean, seriously, that’s so far from being interesting, it’s ridiculous.)
  • awful actors (as always, the producers obviously didn’t care for real castings…and if they did, hosting of a star-search clone already qualified for a lead-role)
  • scripts written, once again, by the producer’s three year old kid (one example of the author’s deranged mind: a woman gets a total make-over, so the love of her life she hasn’t seen for 15+ years will still recognize her as the woman he still loves…laughable, but there’s more to come: After the make-over, which included eyes, removal of wrinkles, and even her hands, she sets up a meeting with that man, just to find out he’s now blind…how’s that for a shocker?)
  • strange changes in seasons…in one shot the landscape is coated by a glistening snow-frosting, the next instant, someone takes a dive in a lake, naked of course, with not a spot of white to see anywhere
  • shameless repeats of the same scene over and over again only to be able to show the butt of the protagonist at least twice in every installment of the show
  • annoying and utterly unnecessary soundtrack, comparable to that of a soap-opera
  • pseudo-trendy editing, with split screens and blaring music (with lyrics corresponding to the scene: woman gets her feet redone, background music: “These boots were made for walking”…hahahaha, yeah, that’s very subtle humour)

I won’t even try to describe the questionable ethics behind that whole production, because it’s quite obvious the show wasn’t intended as an ironic stab at the beauty-industry. Actually, it wouldn’t come as too much of a surprise to find out the whole thing was sponsored by a beauty-clinic…well, I’ll look into that.