What can go wrong does go wrong

January 24, 2005

Well, this should have been a really fun post to this one weblog I maintain. Unfortunately, the thing I had in mind didn’t really work out that well. You see, I already envisioned myself uplifted to the heavens of the blogosphere, with that funny post I had planned. I expected people to max out my bandwidth, of which I have far too plenty, and laugh out loud when reading this post. I wanted to be your fun super-hero, a star so bright you’d have to squint to read my name. But it just didn’t work out.

So, where did it go wrong, you may ask. And you may do so rightly, because a lengthy introduction like the one above warrants such a reaction. Fortunately, I anticpiated just that, so I now present to you my original “fun-idea-which-didn’t-work-out-as-planned”. The post should have gone something like this, and I put this in blockquotes now, so you don’t get confused:

My girlfriend and I got a new coffeemaker for Christmas. After using it for a while, I noticed something strange. And I did some research and this is what I came up with. Have a look:
That’s my coffemachine:

the coffemachine-stormtrooper
And this, my friends, is not my coffeemachine, but a “Star Wars” stormtrooper helmet:

stormtrooper of death
See? SEE? Now, I’m not a huge “Star Wars” fan, nor do I believe in any conspiracy theories, but if the fact that my coffeemachine looks just like a stormtrooper of death helmet doesn’t give you the creeps, then you’re either one tough sonofabitch or you don’t care. I for one know that from now on, I’ll be really nice to my coffeemachine. I’ve seen what they can do with their laser-thingies.

Now, that should have been it. And quite frankly, this would have been the post of a lifetime. It truly would have been. Instead, I had to admit to myself that actually my coffeemachine doesn’t look like a stormtrooper helmet at all. It looks like an ordinary coffeemachine, and that helmet simply looks ridiculous. Ach, I shouldn’t have stopped working on my paper in the first place.