/ Internet

Spam Attack Pt.2 or Kenny G. Is The Voice Of God

It’s now my third day with spam in my gmail account, and it’s always the same…well, almost. Today I got spam which was actually referring me to a site called The Journey That Never Was. Here’s what this site is about:

The Journey That Never Was is for anyone who desires to hear God’s Voice within them … empowering them to receive guidance and support in all areas of their life—from how to find true peace in a world filled with war, poverty, and injustice to overcoming fears, addiction, and even death. And it’s available to everyone—right now.

Well, sounds interesting enough. For those of you who know me, you’ll surely be aware of the fact that there’s nary thing I’m more interested in than to find the voice of God within me. I ventured forth to find out who the good people are who so desire to tell us, or me, that wonderful secret. I clicked on The Authors, and hell, was I in for a surprise. I thought that those people are some lunatics who spent years and years in an isolated cove somewhere in Nepal or maybe Arizona, but they are actually normal folk. And the most interesting detail I found was this, the account of one of the authors of how he found the voice of God within himself:

DavidPaul’s spiritual journey began while attending the U.S. Air Force Academy in 1989. One month before the first day of his junior year, the day on which all cadets must sign their military commitment, DavidPaul was riding in a car with friends when his favorite Kenny G. song came on the radio. In the middle of the song, something unexpected happened—his heart suddenly opened and in rushed the most profound love he had ever experienced.

Now, I’ve heard of a lot of things going on during a Kenny G. song. Most of them involved the expulsion of bodily fluids, and none, I’d like to emphasize on that now, NONE involved the rushing in of “profound love”. I don’t know how that happened, but obviously Kenny G. is more than just cheesy tunes played on a little saxophone. I think it’s not too daring to state that actually, Kenny G. is The Voice of God. I propose to start a “Kenny G. for Pope” campaign, unless of course he’s a protestant, in which case he should go straight to hell.