Tag Archive for 'Movies-and-TV'Page 2 of 3

…and so they went

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Richard
5 years, 2 months ago
in Movies and TV and Music
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So, Oscar Night is over, and the only really interesting thing about the show was Jack Nicholson’s enormous head.

And once again I was baffled by the selection of songs they had nominated for an Oscar. Now, I didn’t exactly do a whole lot of research apart from watching the show, so I can’t tell you any names (well, a few), but I’ll be glad to describe the performances to you:

# Title song for silly animated movie Cars. An accountant with guitar on a stool, Randy Newman on the piano. Account strums guitar lazily, sings extremely boring song, probably about cars falling asleep or dying of boredom.
# Title song for An Inconvenient Truth. Melissa Etheridge rocks the stage. Or tries to. Strums on her guitar, sings extremely dull song about being aware of stuff, meanwhile long-haired second guitarist parties like it’s 1999.
# Some song from Dreamgirls, performed by Beyonce Knowles (whose voice always somehow resembles the squawking a chicken makes when you throw hand-fulls of clay at it – rumor has it) and that one girl who won an Oscar for being on Teen Idol.
# Again
# Again

After that presentation of superb mediocrity, I do wonder how the Academy decides on those songs. In 2006, 804 movies were released in the US alone (yes, I grudgingly decided on some research, which consisted of googling the words “number”, “movies” and “released”). 600 of these were probably straight-to-video pieces with music written by a monkey and performed with a flute and a Hammond Organ by the director’s ailing grandmother, but that still leaves a whole lot of movies which I’m terribly sure have a combined number of at least 50 songs better than what they presented at the Oscars.

So here’ my question: What the fuck is up?

And again…

Published
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Richard
5 years, 2 months ago
in Movies and TV
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Last year we were unable to witness from the cozy confines of our own home the greatness that is a self-celebratory wankfest, mainly due to a certain cable company promising things they couldn’t hold.

Today we’re on the eve of the first Oscar Night in our very own living room, accompanied by my sister and two friends. I’m looking forward to it very much, not least because we’ve made sure to purchase only the finest and of course the most of the foods available in this part of the world.

I hope you all have a fun night too.

Yours,
Dick Tracy

PS: Yes, only certain people will be able to comprehend my rather ingenious nom de plume, and yes, the powers of the almighty and ever so gracious copyright and trademark laws governing such precious creative outputs as the name “Oscar” should have forced me to add a tiny “R” next to “Oscar”. But I just couldn’t be arsed.

Hostel – A Review

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Richard
5 years, 4 months ago
in Movies and TV
. 3 Comments

I recently came around to watch Hostel, the movie which had had enjoyed quite a box office success and which many claimed was the most gory, horrible, sickening movie they’d ever seen. Oh well.

Unfortunately, the movie is just one big, stinking mess. The script is ridiculous, with plot holes as wide as the Panama canal, the execution is laughable (so where’s it supposed to be set? Slovakia? What are the German signs, wrongly written as well, doing there then?), the special effects are downright amateurish, and the whole thing is about as grizzly and shocking as a daytime TV talk show. Actually, less than that.

Although, the one thing that I found most laughable was not in the actual film, but in one of the featurettes on the DVD. In the Making Of, Eli Roth, writer and director of this – as Ignatius J. Reilly would call it – abortion, explains to one of the actresses that the reason for him to make this film was an article he read on an alleged club in Thailand where rich businessmen could buy people to shoot. And he then went on to reason that his initial plan to research this matter and shoot a documentary would have been impossible and far too dangerous (“We wouldn’t find anyone who’d actually been involved” or “You could get shot”), so instead he and his studio decided on doing what? Shooting a half-baked (s)exploitation movie instead.

Well, I can’t commend him more on that heroic decision to make people aware of the bad, bad things going on in the world today. Especially since he managed to cram about 200 naked boobies into the first 45 minutes of the movie. If that doesn’t help to shake people up, what will?

Finally, even the alleged sickness of the movie wasn’t all that. Any movie by, say, Takashi Miike has more shock value than Roth’s stupid piece of pseudo-political nonsense.

The fact that there’s a second part in the works is really just sad. From the production company’s blurb:

In HOSTEL: PART II, three young Americans studying in Rome set off for a weekend trip when they run into a beautiful model from one of their art classes. Also on her way to an exotic destination, the gorgeous European invites the coeds to come along, assuring them they will be able to relax and rejuvenate.

Will the girls find the oasis they are looking for? Or are they poised to become victims for hire, pawns in the fantasies of the sick and privileged from around the world who secretly travel here to savor more grisly pursuits?

Well, let me guess. Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be the oasis. Otherwise it’d be exactly like the first part. And nobody would be so stupid as to repeat the exact same storyline of the first part in a sequel, right? RIGHT?

Little Amadeus and possible spin-offs

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Richard
5 years, 5 months ago
in Movies and TV and Music
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Only recently I was made aware of (meaning, I turned on the TV and saw) a TV cartoon show called “Little Amadeus”. I was hooked the moment I heard the theme song, which basically was a song about little Mozart having all sorts of fun being little and a genius. Go figure.

While watching the show, I wondered if maybe it wasn’t possible to create shows of other composers as well. What about “Little Ludwig van”, a cartoon about little Ludwig van Beethoven, who, unfortunately, doesn’t lead the happy life as a youngster, mainly because his father is a rather harsh alcoholic who tends to wake up his prodigal son after coming home from the tavern so he could entertain his boozer buddies with his genius. And, since the show should appeal to the “Little Amadeus” crowd as well, there could a joint episode where both geniuses meet and play for the friends. Happy Amadeus and surly Ludwig van.

Beethoven’s years as a youngster would then of course be the real focus of attention, with his mother dying when he’s 16, his father becoming more and more of a deranged alcoholic, and the overpowering burden of being responsible for bringing up his other two siblings. In the course of these rather depressing episodes, Beethoven would then turn from a joyful young wunderkind to the grumpy men with wild hair we know him as today. The show could end in a wonderfully tragic finale with Beethoven losing his hearing, a development which would then be attributed to the beatings he had received from his father when young.

Finally even the young would understand the mystery behind Beethoven’s legendary surliness.

For more ideas on TV shows featuring young geniuses, please use the comments. Oh, and yes, there already is a show about a child-doctor.

Understanding

Published
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Richard
5 years, 6 months ago
in Movies and TV
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Today I got a letter from our cable company. Inside, there was a laconic message that went something like this:

“We ask for your understanding that starting next month, the monthly fees for our services will be raised by 30 Euro-Cents.”

Now, usually I’m really quite an understanding person. I understand it when someone decides to leave Austria to start life as a scuba-diving instructor somewhere in the Maldives (mainly because the Maldives are said to be a really great place…why anyone would want to instruct others doing something like diving is actually beyond me).
I understand it when people don’t have cars in Vienna, because having a car in Vienna is expensive and to a certain extent really quite pointless.

But I don’t fucking understand why they suddenly need to charge more for our cable. And you know why? BECAUSE THEY DON’T ACTUALLY GIVE A SINGLE REASON WHY! How should I be understanding, when all they tell me is the fact, but not the circumstances that led to that very fact.

I’m sure customer relations must be a really difficult job, and explaining things to customers not even middle management understands must be really draining. But hell, why not simply dream up some reason that’s a bit more convincing than just NO REASON AT ALL.

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