Archive for the 'SmokeFree' Category

Free market practices

Published
by
richard
2 years, 9 months ago
in Boredom and SmokeFree
. 1 Comment

I’ve been smokefree for about four and a half months now, and I’m quite happy with the situation. Sure, I’ve had to pick up exercising in order to keep my bodily expansion at bay, but I guess you can’t have it all, now can you?

Apparently the big tobacco companies are reading my blog, because during the last few weeks, most cigarette prices were reduced by about 50 €-cents per pack. And although that seems like a really nice gesture, it’s still not enough incentive for me to pick up the habit again. Still, congrats to all those people who still enjoy a smoke once in a while.

But as it happens with good things, bad things follow suit. In Austria, the government is now thinking about introducing a fixed minimum price for a pack of cigarettes. Why? Well, if the tobacco companies sell their cigarettes for less, the government can rake in less tax money. Which of course bums them out. If people really want to exercise their right to decide what’s good for them and what’s not, they might as well pay the price their government thinks is good for them.

On another note, I can’t exercise my right to go running today, because it’s still 10° Celsius below zero, meaning I’d turn my bronchial tubes into little ice tubes (get it? ice tubes). In the course of which I’d become Mr. Freeze, only without the ability to ice other people. And without the stupid accent.

On crazy ideas pt.II

Published
by
richard
2 years, 11 months ago
in Random Wisdom and SmokeFree
. 3 Comments

Well, it’s time to once again elaborate on crazy ideas. Diligent and faithful readers of my blog will remember my venture into the world of extreme sports a few months back. It was then that I made the decision that running as a form of exercise was totally unsuitable for me. Things have changed a bit since then.

First of all, I quit smoking. Which wasn’t that hard really (Allan Carr, you’re such a lucky bastard that so many people are susceptible to your ways. Ah, if only they knew that they don’t need to be subjected to your awful writings in order to quit the habit. But I’m digressing). Second, I didn’t stop gaining weight. For the brainiacs among you (well, you’re reading my site, so you quite probably all are), a certain pattern will have emerged. Yes, exactly, quitting the cancer sticks and gaining weight are two things inextricably linked. And that’s where the crazy idea comes back into play.

You see, quitting the smoke has given me back the ability to actually use all of my lungs, apart from only about 1/10th before. Meaning that while my last dip into the running lifestyle lasted an exact 10 minutes - due to an impending lung failure - this time it will last ten times longer. Brainiacs, do the math!

Now, why am I telling you this? Shouldn’t I be instead already running along the Danube canal, enjoying my newfound life of health and overall joy? Well, yeah. The problem is that I didn’t actually have clothing suitable for this kind of weather. But I was also too cheap to buy it in a professional sports store, resorting to a bargain shop online. And after almost two weeks, the stuff still hasn’t arrived yet. Meaning that I’m sitting on my running shoes here, but am unable to use them, simply because I don’t have any pants to wear with them.

For once in your miserable existence, Austrian Mail Service, do the right thing and hurry the fuck up. I’m already down to one pair of pants that still fit, and I really can’t afford to lose that one too.

Update: The clothing arrived today at 8am. I’m already back from my first half hour of pain. Well, actually it was about 20 minutes. Including panting stops. The above equation didn’t really work out, but I can see potential there. If you would now excuse me please, I need to rest for a while.

Smoker’s Brokers or How To Spend Money

Published
by
richard
3 years ago
in Boredom and SmokeFree
. 1 Comment

Today it’s exactly ten weeks of non-smoking for me. Meaning that in a mere two weeks I can boast with being smokefree for one quarter of a year. Which sounds really quite impressive, especially if you mumble the “quarter of” (that’s an invention my mother came up with this weekend, so I can’t take credit for it - I’m just the chronist).

I don’t yet feel the financial relief too much, but I guess that’s because more money has been spent on foodstuffs and the occasional ticket to the public baths in order to rid my body of excess fat accumulated through consumption of above mentioned additional foodstuffs.

What I actually wanted to write about is a service I stumbled upon today via Lifehacker. See, I quit smoking because I felt that spending huge amounts of money on things that will literally go up in smoke is a stupid thing (sure, I could have stopped smoking before sending the monetary equivalent of a Porsche Roadster down my lungs, but it’s a bit too late crying about that now, don’t you think?). Anyway, that service I’m now finally presenting to you is called Smoker’s Brokers, and it’s basically a stock broker for people who have quit smoking. They can invest exactly the amount they’d have spent on cigarettes, pack after pack. It’s an ingenious idea, really. Too bad I’ve already spent my money on food and exercise.

The printer predicament

Published
by
richard
3 years ago
in SmokeFree and Tech-Stuff
. 6 Comments

If I had had to visualize my mood during most of the day today, it would have looked like that:

todays mood
Why would my mood have looked like a makeshift ashtray? Because I was trying to get a printer shared over our small network, expecting it to be a piece of cake. Unfortunately, it was not. For fuck’s sake. Oh well, I was in the worst of moods, until that thing people commonly refer to as my genius kicked in. I finally solved the plethora of problems, and if I had to visualize my mood now, it would look like that:

my mood later on
Mmm, delicious.

By the way, I’ve been smokeless for about 8 weeks now, and I’m pretty sure that today I’d have smoked a goddamn carton. Thanks to that irresistible combination of willpower and avarice I’ve saved a shitload of money today. I’m the greatest.

PS: All the tags below (except the “category” tags) were suggested by Tagyu. Why argue?

Coffee and cigarettes

Published
by
richard
3 years, 1 month ago
in Impressions and SmokeFree
. 0 Comments

NILcoffee
Great, now they’re selling my coffee in cigarette ads.

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