Catharsis through writing! It’s smokefree day 16, and here are my thoughts:
When you quit smoking, what you really miss are not the actual cigarettes, it’s rather certain moments. Sitting in bars with people smoking left and right is not the problem, at least not after a week or so. No, what you really miss are those moments when you’re not allowed to smoke anyway but looking so forward to being able to. The moments in seminars, when you know that in about 30 minutes you’ll be stepping out of the building, enjoying not lungfulls of fresh air but rather the scratchy sensation of smoke moving through your body. Or when you’re at work, knowing that it’s only another 15 minutes until you’ll be having that well-deserved cigarette break.
The thing is, there is no sensation similar to the one of getting your throat scratched by smoke and having your head put into a spin by a little dose of an extremely potent nerve toxin.
So this is the actual problem when you quit smoking: suddenly you are bereft of those little moments of joy, the ones you keep looking forward to when you’re stuck in the subway, a seminar or work. Eating will only alleviate that craving for the first few days, until you realize that swallowing just doesn’t cut it. It’s simply the wrong tube you’re using.
it took me about 5 months or so to forget about all those tiny habits. the worst thing was staying at the office without having cigarette breaks. for one thing it’s a total lack of internal communication and for another, my ass and back hurt in the evening because I didn’t leave my desk the entire day. in that sense, stop smoking is really bad for your health.
anyways, I succeeded and it’s my third year without a SINGLE drag (after 15 years happy smoking). I’m totally proud of that and life without cigarettes is so much better now!
Oh, well done. I’m hoping to become a happy non-smoker one day too.
It’s SF day 17 - by the way!