On shoe stores and Bonnie Tyler

Every time I set foot in a shoe store, I can’t help but suspect that Bonnie Tyler has signed some sort of contract with each and every show store on the planet.

Why else would they play “Total eclipse of the heart” in a volume well above your average and recommended muzak level every time I’m inside a shoe-store? Is it really a contract, or is this song actually helping people in their quest for the right shoe?

Let’s find out, shall we? Here are the lyrics to “Total eclipse of the heart”. I’ve linked to the lyrics, so you can have a look at them, and then come back here. Considering the fact that the music industry is also suing people who reprint lyrics, I’ve decided not to reprint them here. I don’t want to go down as the the guy who will be paying off debt for the rest of his life for reprinting the lyrics to “Total eclipse of the heart”.

So, here’s something striking about the lyrics, something I’ve never actually consciously registered, but what I think is vital in this matter: The first twelve couplets of the lyrics actually start with the word “Turnaround”. And I must say, stroke of genius, stroke of genius indeed. I mean, what is the word uttered most often when shopping for shoes and clothes? No, not “fat”, it’s actually “turnaround”. Well, it’s “turn around”, but for my argument’s sake, let’s leave that aside for now.

Well, what can I say? Once again I’ve uncovered one of the best kept secrets of the world. The shoe-world, that is.

5 Responses to “On shoe stores and Bonnie Tyler”


  1. 1 val

    maybe the ‘now I’m only falling apart’ line is a reference to shoes falling apart and therefore new ones have to be bought instantly!! haha!

  2. 2 richard

    That’s what I thought as well, but I didn’t want to reprint the lyrics on here, and without doing that it would have been a drag to show it. And the entry was getting too long anyway, haha.

  3. 3 David Scrimshaw

    Richard, I think you could really be on to something here.

    Here’s a subliminal message that explains why women often buy shoes that turn out to be uncomfortable:

    And if you’ll only hold me tight
    We’ll be holding on forever

  4. 4 Nick

    Oh Jesus, here we go.

  5. 5 richard

    David, that’s genius. Haven’t subliminal messages been outlawed?

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