Monthly Archive for February, 2006

Herminator gets Dooce treatment

Although I’m Austrian, my enthusiasm about mason turned wintersports superstar Hermann “Herminator” Maier has always been rather subdued. Even during the last few days, when everyone including their old and sick Grandma was all excited about Austria winning a shitload of Gold medals, I just couldn’t be arsed to actually check out the whole inane circus. Well, Heather Armstrong did, resulting in quite probably the best characterization of Maier I’ve ever seen. Snip:

His run is crazy; a body that big should not be going that fast without a seat belt. At one point I think I can hear the mountain moan under his weight.

Click here to read the thing in its hilarious entirety (which is really not that much, so don’t worry, you lazy bastards).

A short history of everything (on here)

Back in 1999, when I started writing a blog, or what I then called “a website”, I wasn’t ready yet for the downsides of what I love to call “the fame-game”: The stalkers, the screaming fans waiting outside my house, the late-night phone-calls (forcing me to switch to a secret number, which within a few hours would have been found out by one of the stalkers/fans), the death threats, the paparazzi and of course the absurd number of multi-nationals trying to make me sign multi-million ad contracts, which would destroy all my street-cred and expose me as being the two-faced bigot that I am. Or would have been.

In order to avoid above mentioned downfall, I decided to not use my real name. Instead I looked around my bedroom and my gaze fell on the book I was currently reading: “Hitler - A Biography”. So I let my gaze wander just a bit more, and it fell on that one book that decided it all: “Solaris” by Stanislaw Lem. I had tremendously enjoyed that book, which was also reflected in the original name of my website: “Suns of Solaris” (I had of course never heard of copyright infringement and threatening letters from firms named something like “Kurtz, Weilschmidt and Partners” before, and if I remember correctly, back then it wasn’t that bad yet).

The name I chose for myself was that of Gibarian, a mysterious figure which, unlike in the movie by Soderbergh, never appears as a living person throughout the book. I liked the cleverness of having him as a pseudonym, and constantly congratulated myself on this decision, quite probably for no less than three weeks.

It was good name on the Internet, because there were barely any other people named Gibarian signing up for stuff. It was my unique identifier, a handle.

But lately I’ve been questioning the use of my handle more and more. See, I’m quite a bit older now, I’ve got some experience with multi-nationals and their marketing budgets, and I think I could handle the onslaught of fans, stalkers and marketing hacks. So, I’ve decided to retire Gibarian. I’ve been hogging the name for too long now. I’ll give it back to the book and its various adaptations, and maybe in a year or two, the Google index will be cleansed from Gibarians referring to me, and desperate film-majors will finally find stuff on Tarkovsky’s Solaris within the first ten hits.

From now on, everybody please call me Richard.

PS: I’ll be using that name in email correspondences too. So in case you’ve got a nervous trigger-finger when it comes to spam, please look twice.

Good Night and Good Luck, indeed

We went and saw “Good Night and Good Luck” today at the Gartenbau movie theatre. Although the film is in black and white, it’s far from antiquated. While the movie’s plot is about Senator McCarthy’s witch hunt in the 1950s and a journalist’s stance against it, the underlying issue, namely that of the media’s role in a civil society, is a very pressing matter in recent times as well.

And also in times when enormous sums of money are wasted on pseudo-patriotic rubbish like “Pearl Harbor”, it’s refreshing to see that a movie in black and white with no blood, explosions or love stories can be so gripping, and as one reviewer points out, really quite patriotic.

Since we went to see the movie during the afternoon, we took a quick stroll through the Stadtpark, in order to catch the first warm rays of sunshine to grace this wretched city. The images to the whole trip are today provided by my lovely girlfriend over on her Flickr account. Go and check it out!

Austrian Institute of Idiocy

The current Austrian government has been extremely negligent regarding education in general, and the universities in particular. Various cutbacks and the treatment of universities as privately operated entities have left everything in shambles.

Now, I don’t know what people in the rest of the world do, but in Austria, when things are tumbling down and getting worse and worse, politicians simply move on. They don’t care about the fact that the majority of university workers and students oppose their ideas, and the fact that they’ve pushed through their reforms solely with the help of their stooges positioned high up in the universities’ management. So the Austrian government decided to create something they themselves dubbed a “University of Excellence”.

What is all that about? Doesn’t Austria have quite a few universities already? So why create another one? Why not invest the money into already existing infrastructure? Maybe because they let the whole infrastructure bleed to death by continuously cutting funding? Or because they feel they need more hubris in order to compete? Whatever it may be, they decided to create the “Austrian Institute for Science and Technology” (Only hard science of course. There’s no real value in, say, excellence in history, right?).

Fortunately enough, the current federal minster responsible for education, Elisabeth Gehrer (the text is in German, because the ministry of education is unable to translate their website any farther down than one level from the main page), is so incompetent, she manages to trip over her own feet. After choosing the site of an old mental institute, infamous for instances of NS euthanasia [pdf], as the site for the institute, Physicist Anton Zeilinger decided to quit his function as chief academic adviser for the project (followed by the other two major advisers). Now Gehrer is stuck with this crazy idea, and doesn’t know whether to move back or forth. Recent idiocy includes the ministry’s inability to find a suitable name. Christening the whole thing “Wittgenstein Institute of Technology” (a cheap move, considering that that would have spelled WIT, evoking associations with the MIT) turned out to be a bad idea, because Wittgenstein relatives soon complained that nobody had asked them about it and demanded from the ministry to remove their name from the institute (the ministry had also not considered that Wittgenstein wasn’t even involved in hard science or technology).

And finally, Austrian scientists working abroad have now urged the government to rethink the whole thing.

Well, another project our government will soon be presenting as yet another great success!

Olympia free zone

What does a TV station do when they don’t have enough money to broadcast the Olympic games? They simply put a little sign in the upper right corner of the screen, indicating an “Olympia-Free Zone” (as seen on ATV-Plus, Austria’s only country-wide private station).

This is really quite ingenious, considering that not each and every person able to receive TV signals is obsessed with sports, and doesn’t mind watching 16 hours of sports every single day (one could of course decide to not sit in front of the TV for 16 hours straight, but that’s a totally different story, in my eyes).

The downside of course is that ATV-Plus’ programming isn’t worth a dime. So, instead of watching the king of all winter sports, Curling, you can relax to the 250th rerun of “The Nanny”. Which reminds me of that one Vonnegut book.




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