Monthly Archive for September, 2005

Boring you out

Most of my regular readers don’t care about the intricacies of blog publishing systems, CSS, templates and all that jazz. That’s why I won’t bore you with it. Let’s just say that I will be toying with a few new design ideas over the next few days, so in case you think my site looks like shit, you may well be right.

Spam Wisdom once again

Comment spammers have been at it again for a few days now, and although they usually tend to be nothing else if not a nuisance, I was quite taken with what a Texas Poker enthusiast had to say about organized religion:

I say quite deliberately that the Christian religion, as organised in its Churches, has been and still is the principal enemy of moral progress in the world.

Thanks for this insight, my friend, and may God bless your gambling ways.

The times they are a changin’

When today I thought about last year’s summer, where I did more or less the same work at The Factory as I’ve done this year and will be doing for yet another week, I remembered that it must have been approximately a year ago that I switched to Wordpress. Now, Wordpress may be a mere weblog publishing script, but for me, switching to Wordpress meant changing quite a few things. Let’s see what they are:

* About a year ago, my weblog was hosted on my university’s server. Reliable, but lacking support for things such as PHP or MySQL (which are mandatory for Wordpress).

* I did have a domain, but it simply redirected to my university webspace. So, no direct links, etc.

* I was running on Greymatter, a blog publishing script which didn’t require a database or PHP. It was reliable, easy to install, and I was quite satisfied with what it did. Unfortunately, I tend to become restless and want to move on as soon as something works smoothly enough.

Well, about a year ago I decided that I just wouldn’t be able to satisfy my need for a change without chipping in a few Euros, so I rented some webspace which supported PHP, MySQL and a slew of other cool things. And I haven’t looked back since. Today my site sports clean, direct links, I have a blogroll, and my site is listed in about 3 million different blog directories.

While thinking about these changes today, I also decided to dig into the past a bit more and visited the Wayback machine in order to check out my old designs. I did uncover my site design from pre-Wordpress times (which was frames, tables and all the other things webdesign gurus say you shouldn’t use…but still looked quite cool). But what really fascinated me the moment I laid eyes on these old designs was how in retrospect my writing seems so much better. What the hell happened to me? Did I go to university for ages just to be beat in a writing battle by a younger version of myself? Let’s just take this very example, written on the 1st of February 2003:

After being in the weblogwriter business for quite a while now, I can conclude the following:

* It takes a shitload of time to write something which is more than just incoherent babble. That’s why this fucking entry took me about three hours already.
* Writing more than just incoherent babble is senseless, because nobody ever takes the time to read it anyways.
* A lack of porn or links to stupid E/N sites results in a lack of visitors.
* A lack of visitors isn’t that bad, since visitors either demand more links or more porn (Not really a conclusion, rather an educated guess, because I never had any links or porn, so nobody can demand more…I’m the master of logic)
* Trying to pretend I have something to say always results in things like this stupid compilation here.

Actually, I once again succeeded in beeing really boring, resembling a genuine and dedicated weblog writer. This webpage turned me into a complete and utter idiot.

And this, dear reader, is the magic of the Internet.

Have a nice day

Sure, it’s a bit overly zealous in its attempt to be funny, but overall, that writing is much better than anything I’ve written in ages. And there’s plenty more I wrote during that time which is just like it. Ladies and gentleman, I’ve lost my stride. About three years ago.

And to conclude this sad entry, I will come back to the points I elaborated on in the first part. I did rent webspace. I did install a more advanced blogging software. I did learn quite a few things about designs via templates, CSS and whatnot. But did it improve my writing? Did it improve the one thing that is vital to any blog, namely its content? Fuck no, it didn’t.

Spell your guts

The mysteries of MS Word’s spell-check:

spell checker gone wild

FSM shirt disaster

Trying to express my support for the teachings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a few days ago I tried ordering a shirt displaying his Noodlyness. Well, after three days I was informed that my type of shirt was out of stock, and that it would take them just a wee bit longer to restock. Not yet worried, but curious by nature, I replied, asking how long approximately it would take them to restock. That was four days ago. Today I got a mail, informing me of the fact that the shirt would indeed not be restocked for quite a while. “Well, screw this!” I thought and replied by asking them to cancel my order. I then checked my credit card balance and, lo and behold, they had already charged my credit card. And I’ll repeat this for dramatic purposes now (even moving it to a new paragraph hell, I’ll put it in quotes!):

They charged my credit card the very day I placed my order! And then realized that the shirt was out of stock! And decided to tell me two days later!

For you people who are familiar with the mystery that is credit card shopping: Is this common practice? Is this how people get rid of their surplus items? Or is this the way people get rid of their (potential) customers? Or should I stop the fuck complaining and wait for them to reply?

Update: I guess everything will work out after all. Shirts were restocked quicker than anticipated, and the Noodly Appendage is on its way.




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